Middle school is when the pressure begins. Boys are expected to act tough, stay quiet, hold it all in, and figure things out on their own. Vulnerability is labeled as weakness. Struggling is mistaken for not caring. By the time eighth grade hits, many boys have already internalized the message that their feelings do not matter and only performance does. 

That kind of pressure breaks a lot of students. For Damian, it nearly cost him everything. He wasn’t a loud student or causing problems, but by the end of the school year he fell behind quietly. The kind of falling behind that is easy to miss until it is too late. When his name showed up on the “do not graduate” list, it wasn’t because of bad behavior or disruption. He had simply stopped believing he could catch up, but he was not alone. 

Damian was a participant in Becoming a Man (BAM), Youth Guidance’s group counseling and mentoring program for young men. Through weekly circles, BAM gives students space to reflect, manage emotions, build healthy relationships, and set goals for their future. In BAM, students are reminded that being a man is not about suppressing feelings or pretending to have everything figured out. It is about how they respond when life gets hard. 

When Jesus, his BAM counselor, learned Damian was at risk of not graduating, he did not criticize him. He asked him a question. “You talk about leadership. You talk about accountability. Are you ready to live it?” Damian was ready and ready to prove it! 

He began pulling all-nighters to finish his assignments. He stayed home and skipped his eighth-grade dance to catch up. While his fellow classmates were out celebrating, Damian was fighting for a second chance at the future he thought he had lost. Even without knowing whether his efforts would be enough, Damian kept doing his work. With his counselor’s support, he stayed focused and pushed through the assignments he had fallen behind on. As graduation approached, he still had not been cleared to walk, but he volunteered to help prepare for the ceremony. 

He set up chairs, tested microphones, and supported classmates who had already secured their place on stage. It was a quiet act of leadership, integrity, and accountability. These were the same values he had been learning and practicing in BAM throughout the school year. That kind of commitment is hard to ignore. His teachers noticed. His principal noticed, and Jesus never stopped advocating for him. Two days before graduation, Damian got the news that he would not only walk with his classmates but serve as the master of ceremonies! 

He went from being nearly left behind to standing at the podium, leading his class into the next chapter, and the story does not end there. BAM did not only help Damian graduate. It helped him rebuild belief in himself. It taught him how to reflect under pressure, how to recover after falling behind, and how to lead even when the outcome was uncertain. These are not just eighth-grade lessons. These are lifelong skills. 

As Damian enters high school, whether or not BAM is available at his next school, he now carries something permanent. He knows how to respond when life becomes difficult. He knows how to ask for help, take ownership, and make choices that align with who he wants to become. This is what BAM provides: space to be human, tools to grow, and mentorship that remains consistent through life’s hardest moments. BAM does not rescue students. It restores their power and helps them become men with support and mentorship.  

Jacob was only seven years old when his mother drove him to a gang meeting. His older siblings were already affiliated. There was no defining moment, just a quiet understanding that this was his path too. 

In many neighborhoods across Los Angeles, gang culture isn’t something young people choose. It is something they inherit. For Latino youth in particular, it can feel like a family tradition. Passed down through generations, it often becomes the only source of identity, protection, and belonging when support systems are lacking. 

By middle school, Jacob had already seen more than most kids his age. When he joined Becoming a Man (BAM) at Bunche Middle School, something shifted. BAM didn’t try to fix him. It offered him space to reflect. For the first time, he was asked who he wanted to become, not who he had been told to be. That question opened the door to a life-changing decision. 

With encouragement from his BAM counselor, Jesus, Jacob chose to leave the gang. He got jumped out. The consequences were immediate. “I don’t have any friends anymore,” he told Jesus.

“Everyone I knew was from the gang.” 

Jacob was left completely alone. No one at home encouraged him to go to school. Still, he rode the train across the city everyday. Many times, he showed up only for BAM. It was the one space where he felt seen, valued, and emotionally safe. 

Where gang life once gave him brotherhood, BAM offered something stronger. He found trust, accountability, and a place where healing could begin. Healing, however, does not happen in a day. 

Jacob still carried the weight of fear. The risk of retaliation lingered. He felt unsure of where he belonged. Jesus and the school principal noticed this, and they stepped in. Together, they created a modified school schedule so Jacob could move through the building safely and stay engaged in his education. 

That support made a difference. Jacob began to attend more regularly. He joined the basketball stat crew to feel connected again. He started to believe there was a place for him outside of the life he was raised in. 

Then came a setback. Jacob was involved in a physical altercation and was expelled. He is now waiting on a district hearing to determine whether he can return to Bunche Middle School. He doesn’t want to start over, but he does want to continue his journey with BAM.  

Jacob’s story is still unfolding. When a young person has spent a lifetime being shaped by survival, those instincts do not disappear in a year. It takes time to unlearn. It takes consistent support, and people who refuse to walk away when things get hard. The fact that Jacob is still showing up, still asking to be in BAM, and still wanting something different says everything about his potential. 

BAM exists for young men like Jacob. For those who may not have had stable mentors, emotional safety, or space to reflect, BAM offers that structure. It helps build the foundation for a different future, one decision at a time. 

Jacob is still young. His story can still be shaped by the presence of positive adults and environments that believe in him. We will continue to show up, continue to advocate, and continue to be in his corner as he finds his way forward because building brighter futures for students comes with rainy days too.  

Middle school is a challenging time for many young people. From hormonal shifts to middle school drama, students are trying to figure out who they are while keeping up with grades and sports. It’s truly a pivotal time in a student’s life, and for students like Makai, these everyday pressures were layered with deeper emotional struggles too. 

At Bunch Middle School in Los Angeles, Makai stood out for his potential, even if he hadn’t yet fully stepped into it yet. He struggled with emotional regulation and had a hard time staying calm in group settings, including the classroom. He originally expressed interest in joining Becoming a Man (BAM), a school-based program that helps young men build emotional resilience and develop core values like respect and accountability. However, during sixth and seventh grade, his counselor, Jesus Cisneros, made the difficult decision to hold off. Group circles require emotional safety, consistency, and the ability to respect others. At the time, Makai wasn’t ready. 

Still, Jesus never stopped supporting him. They met one-on-one regularly. By the time Makai reached eighth grade, something changed. He approached Jesus and said, “I want to do BAM this year. I want to graduate.” From that point on, he stayed committed. He turned in assignments, kept his grades up to remain eligible for basketball, and became an engaged BAM student who looked forward to group circles each week. 

Unfortunately, just a few weeks into the semester, Makai collapsed during basketball practice. He was rushed to the hospital, where he later passed away. The loss stunned the entire school. 

The following morning, BAM counselors from across Los Angeles rushed to Bunch Middle School to support students and staff. They organized a grief circle to help the school process what had happened. More than 25 students participated, including several who were not enrolled in BAM. Some cried. Some stayed silent. Others shared stories. One student said, “I’m sad, but I can’t cry.” Another said, “At least we can laugh at the memories.” The BAM counselors created a safe space for the tragedy that students and staff witnessed and the loss they now had to live with. 

Oftentimes, it is hard for us to realize how much what happens outside the classroom shows up inside it. Family stress, personal loss, and emotional trauma don’t stop when the bell rings. That includes the grief of losing a peer. Programs like BAM help students navigate these experiences and offer a consistent space to feel safe, supported, and heard. 

Although Makai’s time in BAM was brief, it was meaningful. He had just begun to see himself differently. He was making progress and learning how to lead with responsibility and purpose. His story is a reminder of what is possible when students are given the structure, mentorship, and support they need to grow. 

At Youth Guidance, we are committed to supporting students like Makai across Los Angeles. Through BAM, we continue helping young men navigate life’s challenges, build resilience, and create school communities where no one has to face hardship alone. 

In 1999, Anthony Ramirez-Di Vittorio, lovingly known as Tony D., spotted a small ad in the Chicago Tribune that changed everything. The job posting was for a counselor position at Youth Guidance. At the time, he was working as a therapist. But something about that listing called to him. 

“It just spoke to me,” he later said. “I wasn’t supposed to be in an office. I was supposed to be with young people.” 

That instinct led Tony into the hallways of Clemente High School, where he began his work with Project Prepare, mentoring students in some of Chicago’s most underserved neighborhoods. The young men he met were Black, Puerto Rican, and white boys navigating trauma, poverty, and systemic injustice. This showed him that their challenges ran deeper than academics. 

“They were angry, shut down, disconnected,” Tony recalled. “They didn’t need more punishment.

“They didn’t need more punishment. They needed a space to be seen, to be heard, to ask: who am I, and who do I want to become?” 

He gave them that space by pulling desks into circles and starting conversations about manhood, respect, anger, and accountability. These were not just sessions. They were rituals. And they worked. 

Building the Blueprint 

By 2001, those informal circles had crystallized into a curriculum: Becoming A Man (BAM). Inspired by Carl Rogers’ humanistic psychology and rites-of-passage traditions, Tony crafted a framework rooted in values, reflection, and transformation. 

Students were asked not just to reflect on where they came from, but to decide who they wanted to be and then practice it. The BAM model helped them slow down, regulate emotions, and make conscious choices. One early participant told him, “That BAM stuff you taught me really works.” 

Tony is quick to deflect credit. “I’m not the creator of BAM, my mother is,” he says. Raised by a Mexican American single mom who modeled resilience and compassion, Tony credits her spirit as the guiding force behind his life’s work. 

The Domino Effect 

What began as one man, one circle, and one classroom has now become a national and international movement. 

BAM currently operates in cities across the U.S., including Chicago, Boston, Dallas, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, Kansas City, Seattle, and Philadelphia, and has even been adapted in London. 

Its impact is undeniable: 

• 50% reduction in violent crime arrests, according to research from the University of Chicago’s Urban Labs 

• 19% increase in high school graduation rates 

• Measurable declines in PTSD and anxiety symptoms 

• Stronger school engagement and emotional intelligence 

In Boston, students like Devon say BAM gave them “a brotherhood,” motivation to attend college tours, and tools to stay focused. In the U.K., the Mental Health Foundation cited BAM as a promising intervention for youth. 

Carrying the Work Forward 

Today, BAM is regarded as one of the most effective school-based counseling and mentoring programs in the world. Its success lies in its simplicity and humanity. The six core values are integrity, accountability, self-determination, positive anger expression, respect for womanhood, and visionary goal-setting. 

More than two decades later, Tony’s vision continues to ripple outward through the thousands of counselors and students carrying BAM forward. 

Tony no longer facilitates circles in a single classroom, but his voice still echoes in each one. Every time a young man steps into a BAM room, takes a deep breath, and chooses a different path, the ripple effect of Tony’s work expands. 

Where manhood was once measured in silence and scars, BAM dares to measure it in reflection and resilience. And what began in a single room now echoes in cities across the world, still shaped by the circle that started it all.